Six to Eight Black Men

Now that Santa has come and gone, the immediate danger has passed, and it's safe to tell dark tales of the Christmas Eve in the Old Country.

Curious Expeditions warns us of the "maniacal Santa's helper known by many different titles, from Krampus (which comes from the Old High German word meaning “claw”), to Zwarte Piet or Black Peter in the Netherlands, to Knecht Ruprecht or “Farmhand Ruprecht” in some German speaking lands. Sometimes he is a servant, sometimes a slave, and sometimes a helper to old Saint Nick."

For a more contemporary take on these strange folk ways, David Sedaris says it best. Here's an excerpt of his essay Six to Eight Black Men:

"...While eight flying reindeer are a hard pill to swallow, our Christmas story remains relatively simple. Santa lives with his wife in a remote polar village and spends one night a year traveling around the world. If you're bad, he leaves you coal. If you're good and live in America, he'll give you just about anything you want. We tell our children to be good and send them off to bed,where they lie awake, anticipating their great bounty. A Dutch parent has a decidedly hairier story to relate,telling his children, "Listen, you might want to pack a few of your things together before you go to bed. The former bishop from Turkey will be coming along with six to eight black men. They might put some candy in your shoes, they might stuff you in a sack and take you to Spain, or they might just pretend to kick you. We don't know for sure, but we want you to be prepared."